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Hello Friends! I am so honored to be guest posting today here on Danette's lovely blog. Danette has just been TOO sweet to me since we've "met" one another. I truly value my relationship with her.
When Danette invited me to post on her blog, I knew almost immediately what to write about. Faith, of course!
In my 30 years, I can assure you that my faith has been tested. It has been tested many times.
As a very young adult, my faith was tested when at just 19 years old I was told that I had Premature Ovarian Failure (aka early menopause) and that I would never have "my own" children. And I thought many times "How/Why would a loving God do this to me? How/Why would a loving God take away from me the one thing I've always dreamed of?" And yes, I questioned God's plan. My heart was so full of pain. But HE was there, the whole time. And, needless to say, He had other plans for me. While I did end up with an infertility diagnosis (PCOS), it was not quite so devastating as my original diagnosis. God was still speaking.
During my 2nd pregnancy, my faith was tested with a complicated and high risk pregnancy. Gestational diabetes, abnormal ultrasounds, and at the end, insufficient amniotic fluid. I was scared, especially when the ultrasounds were abnormal. And I thought many times "How/Why would a loving God do this to me?" What would I do if there was something "wrong" with my baby? But there wasn't. God was still speaking
Somewhere after that, my faith was tested when my marriage hit a rocky point. I felt so lost. So confused. But God gave us the strength to grow our love instead of walking away. Yes, God was still speaking.
A little over two years ago, when my 3rd child was born (yes, THREE kids that at one point I was told I'd never have!) my faith was tested again in one of the most profound ways yet. My little girl was born with special needs. She was born with a condition that wasn't caught on the ultrasound. A condition that she wont "outgrow", that there isn't a cure for (Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita. Say THAT three times fast!). And once again, I questioned His plan. Many, many times I thought to myself "How/Why would a loving God do this to me?" It took me some time to see that it was okay. That this obstacle was a blessing in disguise. This little girl, and her condition, is a gift from God. While I don't question that at all, I wont pretend we don't still face many challenges. But I have peace knowing that God is still speaking.
About a year and a half ago, once again, my faith was tested. Really tested. My mom had a mass on her brain, and had sudden and traumatic emergency brain surgery. About a week later, the pathology report came back and she was given a diagnosis of a rare form of cancer called Primary CNS Lymphoma. I found myself wondering again "How/Why would a loving God do this to me?". Her young life still had too much left in it! God COULDN'T take her from us, we weren't done loving her yet! Oh, the tears I cried. The tears we all cried. The fears we endured. Hearts full of pain. What a long road our family traveled in those months. But, God blessed us with Dr's that can help heal. And he led my mom to one of the best Cancer Centers in the country. And she got the best treatment. And she's been cancer free for a year now. In fact, she celebrated her 1st Birthday yesterday! (Check out the my blog for that!). And the reason why she celebrated was because God is still speaking!
That's a little bit about my journey, and my struggle, with faith. And I'll tell you now, my faith is stronger than it has ever been. He has seen me through all of these trials. While I know that there is more to come, I have finally discovered that I can give it all to Him, and take peace in that. What a blessing!
I have learned that you should "Never place a period where God has placed a comma." ~Gracie Allen. Why? Because God is STILL speaking
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2–4 (ESV)
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